Bobs Bad Day (Arrows and Arcade Book 3)

To the caffeinated squirrels of the cosmos, who tirelessly chase the elusive nut of existence, and especially to those who have ever leaped from a perfectly good airplane (or a perfectly bad trampoline) in the name of love, or a raw steak. This book is dedicated to you, you magnificent, slightly unhinged, wonderfully improbable creatures. May your parachutes always open (or at least deploy a halfway decent improvisation), your landings be soft (preferably not in a lion enclosure), and your proposals accepted (even if the recipient requires a defibrillator). To the lovers, the lunatics, the lion-dodgers, the trampoline acrobats, the skydivers, the librarians, and all those who dare to embrace life’s glorious, chaotic, and often hilarious, curveballs. This one’s for you. This is especially dedicated to those who’ve ever experienced the existential dread of a misplaced ring, the sheer terror of a malfunctioning parachute, the utter bewilderment of finding oneself unexpectedly launched into a library, or the profound disappointment of missing one’s soulmate in a park – only to have a chance encounter at a diner that leads to an untimely death, which in turn, leads to the most gloriously absurd murder investigation ever witnessed, which was, in itself, almost as thrilling, shocking, and unexpected as the events that initially transpired, culminating in a series of escapades, mishaps, and comical encounters. This book is also dedicated to the concept of finding humor in the face of near-death experiences, existential crises, and the occasional encounter with a pride of unexpectedly reasonable lions. For all the unexpected twists, turns, and upside-down moments. For those who believe that even in death, life finds a way to be unexpectedly funny. For those who’ve ever had a truly bad day, that somehow managed to be funnier than a barrel full of monkeys juggling chainsaws, this is a testament to the wild, woolly, and utterly unpredictable nature of existence itself. For the beautifully bonkers, for those who find the absurd sublime, for those whose lives are a constant state of glorious, chaotic mess; this book is for you. May your days be filled with as much unpredictable joy, ludicrous mishaps, and laughter as the pages within. To the delightfully deranged, this one’s a toast. (And maybe a raw steak just in case.)The tiny velvet box, containing the ring that was supposed to symbolize his undying love, felt heavier than a sack of wet cement in Bob’s trembling hand. His meticulously planned skydiving proposal – a breathtaking spectacle of airborne romance that would make even Cupid blush with envy – was already teetering on the precipice of utter disaster. He’d envisioned a heart-stopping descent, a perfectly timed banner unfurl proclaiming his undying affection, and a triumphant landing into Kai’s waiting arms. Reality, however, was proving to be considerably less cinematic.

First, the ring. He’d spent a small fortune on a dazzling diamond, a stone that shimmered like a captured star, only to discover it missing from its rightful place within the box. Panic set in, a cold sweat slicking his palms. He frantically patted his pockets, rummaged through his bag, even checked inside his helmet. Nothing. The ring, the centerpiece of his elaborate scheme, had vanished into thin air, or perhaps, into the abyss of his chaotic pre-jump preparations.

Then, the camera. He’d painstakingly positioned a GoPro on his helmet to capture the whole magnificent spectacle – a visual testament to his audacious, romantic gesture. It was to be the ultimate proposal keepsake, a cinematic masterpiece of love and daredevilry. Only now, the battery was dead. Completely, utterly, and irrevocably dead. Like his chances of a smooth, romantic proposal.